Behold the Dark Sith Lord of Charm City, Peter Angelos. In his 13 years as owner of the Orioles, the well-worn purveyor of evil has taken a proud franchise and knocked it on its keester. Angelos’s history of subverting his general managers, scapegoating his managers, and threatening frivolous litigation to get his way is well-known throughout baseball, and all too well by the long-suffering fans of Baltimore. Now, with nine straight losing campaigns, competition in DC, attendance at beautiful Camden Yards shrinking, and the daunting task of having to play in the AL East, the future still looks as dark as the circles under the Black-Souled One’s eyes. On the bright side for O’s fans, Angelos is 77, and Cal Skywalker awaits in the distance ready to re-instill the Oriole Way to this decayed franchise. But for 2007, here’s what you should expect from the Orioles:
Biggest reason for hope – Leo Mazzone is still the pitching coach with the guru reputation. Perhaps he can lead youngsters Erik Bedard, Daniel Cabrera and Adam Loewen to the promised land, and once again work wonders with Jaret Wright (who was 15-8, 3.28 in his one previous season with Mazzone in Atlanta). Add with the $42 million in middle relievers and young fireballer Chris Ray to close games out, and maybe you have the makings of a decent pitching staff. Maybe.
Biggest potential nightmare for O’s fans- Miguel Tejada, Brian Roberts, and Jay Gibbons magically lose their power stroke. Of course, I’m not suggesting anything here, but you may want to look with curiosity if Tejada passing around the B-12 after a series of slow starts.
Player to watch- Cabrera. There’s no middle ground with him. He either has electric stuff, or he’s all over the place and throwing at batters for sport. If he can harness the former, watch out. If he’s the latter, watch out (as in duck).
Why do we still have to watch this player? – Kevin Millar. As a Sox fan, I’ll always love Millar for his role in bringing a title to Boston. However, in his last 2 seasons he has a total of 24 homers and 114 RBI. He is perhaps the slowest non-catcher in the majors, and his defense is terrible (although in fairness, he plays many positions terribly). Just retire and join the Sox as a bench coach, Kevin. Trust me, you’ll always be a god in Beantown, and the clubhouse will still appreciate your fart jokes.
Telling Statistic – The Orioles were 4-14 versus Boston and 7-12 versus the Yankees in 2006. Good thing they play them only 37 more times in 2007.
Interesting fact signifying nothing –Melvin Mora is the father of 5 year-old quintuplets. When asked how he became so fertile, all Mora could come up with was the B-12 shot that Miguel Tejada gave him.
Projected record & finish – 66-96, 5th place, AL East
Prediction that won’t come true but should - Baltimore fans vote the Orioles Baltimore’s most depressing product, barely beating out The Wire.
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