#27 - Pittsburgh Pirates - Aaarrrgh, the Ship Still Be Taking on Water, Mateys!

Behold the pierogi race, a mid-game tradition in Pittsburgh. It's every bit as entertaining as Milwaukee's Sausage Rage and Washington's President's Race, and when one of your contestants is named Sauerkraut Saul, how can you go wrong? Sadly, this event has been the biggest game highlight for Pirates fans, as their team's play of late has been worse than drinking spoiled sauerkraut juice. The Pirates have compiled 14 straight losing seasons, and good money suggests that this year will be their quinsinetta of losing. It's enough to make Pirates fans want to boycott PNC Park, although I don't recommend that, as it is the best ballpark in baseball. Any serious baseball fan must come here at least once. Trust me, tickets are not hard to get. Here's what to expect from the Pirates in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope - There's lots of young starting pitching here that just drools with potential. Zach Duke, Ian Snell, Paul Maholm, Sean Burnett, John Van Betschoten, and Tim Gorzelanny all have the potential to be #1 or #2 starters. However, Duke and Snell have been inconsistent since making their big league debuts. As for the rest, we all know that predicting young starting pitching is like predicting the quality of the latest Woody Allen film - it's a crapshoot.

Biggest potential nightmare for Bucs fans- Rotator cuffs and Tommy John surgery. Burnett and Van Betschoten are already coming back from major surgery, and there's dread that one of the other youngsters could be next. Of course, dread and being a Pirates fan go hand-in-hand.

Player to watch- Chris Duffy. The center fielder of the future needs to be the leadoff man of the present. If he gets on base, he'll score a lot of runs with Freddy Sanchez, Jason Bay and Adam LaRoche behind him. If not, the offense could sputter more than Michael Irvin at a diction bee.

Why do we still have to watch this player? - Humberto Cota. In 6 seasons, Cota is a lifetime .232 hitter with a .277 OBP, and Pirates pitchers had a 6.05 ERA last year with him behind the plate. For this string of excellence, he'll have 10 more years in the majors. That's it - I'm raising my kid to be a punter or a backup catcher.

Telling Statistic - In 2006, the Pirates were last in runs scored, home runs, total bases, RBI, and slugging percentage, and OPS. On the bright side, Pittsburgh would have been in first in all of these categories if only the other 15 National League teams weren't counted.

Interesting fact signifying nothing - Last year, Freddy Sanchez became Pittsburgh's 25th batting champion, joining such greats as Honus Wagner, Ginger Beaumont, Arky Vaughn, and Debs Gams. In a related story, Freddy Sanchez is no longer insecure about his name.

Projected record & finish - 66-96, 6th Place, NL Central

Prediction that won’t come true but should - When the Giants play at Pittsburgh this year, Barry Bonds gets busted for cocaine possession. However, Bonds argues that the cocaine actually belonged to either Mark Sweeney or the Pittsburgh Parrot.