Surveying the buffet ...

There have been some interesting tidbits over the fast few days that do not involve Britney Spears's audition for the "Kojak" movie. Here they are, in no particular order:

- News flash - A-Rod admits that his relationship with Derek Jeter isn't as strong as it once was! In a related story, the Pope remains committed to Catholicism. There's a lot I could mock here, but I leave it to DJ Gallo, who has written a wonderful article on the history of Jeter's and A-Rod's "sleepovers." I wish that I were as funny as DJ Gallo, and as hip, and young ... wow, it appears that I have a man crush.

Examining the Sox and Yanks right now, I feel like I'm in a bizarro world. In Yankeeland, Bernie Williams is insulted, Mariano Rivera is unhappy, the future owner is being pulled over for DUI, and now we have the latest pillow fight between the Captain and Commander Purple Lips. Meanwhile, the Red Sox camp starts without a peep, except for the annual Manny "drama," which is being treated with a collective yawn by the team. I'm not used to rooting for the placid team! Perhaps Schilling can start a controversy over his contract or by making some crazy political comment ("If Hillary wins in '08, both Yankee fans and terrorists win!")

-In major uniform news, MLB has announced that the are abandoning wool caps in favor of a new synthetic polyester blend. Apparently, the new caps breathe better and won't shrink. When asked for his comment, A-Rod supported the change, noting that he always prefers an artificial product to one that once came from a living creature. However, he predicted that he would receive no new benefit from the cap, as he is not programmed to sweat.

-The Pirates brought in a motivational speaker to start their camp - Dick Vitale. Vitale noted that the Pirates have a bunch of PTPers and diaper dandies, and that with a solid start they could end up as high as fifth in the ACC. Vitale also said that he hoped for more this year from the Pirates, as he's had to watch their poor performance the past few years with one eye shut (and just for the record, it isn't the socket with the glass eye that was shut).

-The Nationals signed Ronnie Belliard, and he is expected to back up Felipe Lopez and Christian "a singles hitter without the singles" Guzman. Belliard, a quality albeit pudgy infielder, may have remained unsigned for so long because of some ugly personal business. At the end of last season, Belliard was allegedly the victim of an extortion scheme by a man who demanded $150,000 or he would publicize Belliard's extramarital affair with the man's daughter. The Nationals failed to comment on this matter, but Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, Bob Livingston, Bob Dole, Chuck Robb, Dan Burton, and Gary Condit all sent congratulatory notes to Belliard, and predicted he'd be a great fit in Washington.

-The Devil has arrived in San Francisco. It's a good thing those caps won't be shrinking this year. The Giants' credibility, on the other hand...