A-Rod Finds a Demographic He Hasn't Yet Alienated, Proceeds to Alienate Them

You've probably heard it by now, but A-Rod has released a children's book. Entitled "Out of the Ballpark," the story is about - well, I'll let the Daily News describe it:

(a) boy - appropriately named Alex - whose baseball team is playing in the
playoffs. Alex, who is a second baseman, makes a key error in the game and
begins to put extra pressure on himself. Only his play gets worse.

I think I've heard that storyline before, only a slappy hand, a crucial double play, and/or being dropped to 8th in the order were involved. Anyway, A-Rod had an interesting day promoting his book yesterday. It included:

a) cancelling an appearance on the "Today" show because NBC would not agree to limit the types of questions that Matt Lauer could ask (he must have objected to the difficult subject of hair frosting);

b) hamming it up with Regis and Kelly. I think the transcript went something like this:

Kelly: Omigod, I love you so, much, Alex! (sound of rocks rolling around in head)

A-Rod: Excuse me while I go to pre-programmed response #17, humanoid - Thank you, Kelly. I tremendously respect your abilities and intellect. You are a credit to your profession.

Regis: Oatmeal!

c) going on CNN (presumably, they agreed to limit questions to books, puppies, sunshine, and his ability to hit 3-run homers in 9-1 games);

d) hanging with Martha Stewart (I'm sure that they compared cranial microchips); and

e) relieving his bowels at a book signing. Don't believe me? You tell me what he's doing:

I think he was thinking about the Detroit series at the moment the picture was snapped. A reporter who tried to interview him at the event was accosted by a NYPD officer. I'm sure that went over big with the kids.

I really want to move on to something else, but damn, you make it so easy, A-Rod.