As a starter, let me state that the image above (thanks, South Park) is completely tasteless. However, I use it strictly for educational purposes as a metaphor. You see, Steve Irwin represents the Devil Rays. The ray itself represents the rest of the American League, which has attacked the Devil Rays swiftly and painfully, leading to an early death each season. OK, maybe that's a stretch, and perhaps I was just interested in using a tacky animated shot to get your attention. So sue me.
2007 will be the 10th season for the Tampa Bay franchise, and they've lost at least 91 games each of their first nine seasons. Their home, Tropicana Field, is hands-down the ugliest stadium in baseball, with its grey ceilings and phony catwalk home runs. Low attendance is a constant fact of life in Tampa (with the majority of the fans often rooting for the other team). If Major League Baseball was a country and each of the teams were states, the Devil Rays would be the state with the highest rate of teen pregnancy, lowest literacy rate, and where 80% of its citizens voted for George Bush. It's that bad.
So is there hope for this weary franchise? Well, yes, as a matter of fact. New ownership took over last year, and knowledgeable baseball men are finally running the franchise. There's a great corps of good young hitters here that should make Tampa one of the more explosive offenses in baseball. So, I think that the Devil Rays are due for an upswing. In fact, I predict they'll have their best record ever this year - that's right, I'm saying 72-90! Here's what else you should expect from the Devil Rays this season:
Biggest reason for hope: The great young offense. There are more potential studs here than at you average stable. With proven youngsters Carl Crawford and a healthy Rocco Baldelli joined by run producers Jorge Cantu and Johnny Gomes, the lineup has showed signs of life in recent years. Now add full seasons from potential young stars Delmon Young, B.J. Upton, Elijah Dukes and Japanese import Akinori Iwamura, there is the potential to be a top-tier run machine. Of course, if Young, Dukes and Upton engage in the same type of bad behavior they've been known for the past few seasons (marijuana, DUI, throwing bats at umps, etc.), the Devil Rays could become the Cincinnati Bengals of MLB. But if that happens, at least the Rays would be known for SOMETHING.
Biggest potential nightmare for Rays fans: They score 6 runs a game, but give up 8. Quick - name a Rays starter other than Scott Kazmir. Can you? That's OK, I had to peek at their roster just to be reminded that they have Jay Seo and Casey Fossum as their probable second and third starters. Oh, and in case you hadn't heard Rays fans, Seth McClung is your probable closer. That's right, Seth McClung, he of the lifetime 6.28 ERA and the sleepy-stoned look. You may say that McClung will do better in one-inning situations than as a starter. Well, last year, batters facing McClung in his first inning of work hit .311 off of him with a .910 OPS. I recommend Tampa fans do something more relaxing than watch McClung pitch, such as riding a roller coaster, or playing with live crocodiles.
Player to watch: Upton. In 2004, the world was Upton's oyster. He was the top prospect in the minors, and a can't miss major-leaguer. Then came a cup of coffee in the majors, followed by an erratic 2005 in the minors where he hit well but made 53 errors at shortstop. 2006 was similarly erratic at Durham, and he got a DUI to boot. By the time he returned to Tampa in July 2006 as a third baseman, the shine was off (he was booed in his first at bat). Now, the Rays will either play him at second or as a super-utility man. Can he play defense? Can he bat behind Crawford and be the catalyst that the offense needs? Can he overcome the stigma of being named B.J.? Inquiring minds want to know.
Why do we still have to watch this player?: Dan Miceli. Nothing against Mr. Miceli - he's a journeyman reliever with a lifetime 4.48 ERA. He's probably a good guy, too. However, since 2001, he's played for the Rockies, Marlins, Rangers, Indians, Yankees, Astros, Rockies (again), Astros (again), Rockies again), and the Devil Rays. The word "expendable" comes to mind. On the bright side, if your slow-pitch softball team needs a pitcher this summer, Miceli may be available.
Telling Statistic: Did I mention that the Rays have lost at least 91 games in every year of their existence?
Interesting fact signifying nothing: Wade Boggs is the only Hall of Famer ever to play for the Devil Rays. He joined his hometown team in 1998, and his hair weave was officially added to the roster in 1999.
Projected record & finish: 70-92, 4th Place, AL East
Prediction that won’t come true but should: Young becomes the first player to hit a home run into the Rays Touch Tank. However, his blast kills two rays in the tank, and he is arrested for cruelty to animals and assaulting an officer with a bat after he is arrested. Upton is subsequently arrested for attacking a cop in the resulting melee, and Dukes is arrested for not realizing that you can't break out a bong in center field while there's a break in play.
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