#22 - Florida Marlins - My Jeff Loria, Even I'll Abhor You, My Jeff Loria

You are looking at art dealer/buffoon Jeffrey Loria, the owner of the Florida Marlins. The piece of art has the dead, horrified facial expression of anyone who's had to spend an hour with the guy. He's the most despicable MLB owner not named Angelos (note: now that Steinbrenner is semi-senile, it just isn't fair to put him in this discussion, much as I may want to). Having previously presided over the destruction of the Montreal Expos, Loria now seeks to ruin a second franchise. His heavy-handedness is and itchy firing finger is legendary, and the folks in Florida must now suffer with his um, interesting business decisions.

After selling off most of the core of the team's 2003 World Series Champion roster, the 2006 Marlins should have been closer to an expansion team than a playoff team. Over half of the roster was comprised of rookies, and a 100-loss season was pretty much assumed. However, under the guidance of first-year skipper Joe Girardi, the Marlins amazingly stayed in playoff contention until the last week of the season? Girardi was rewarded with a Manager of the Year trophy and a pink slip. Apparently, Girardi once yelled at Loria to stop yelling at the umpires during a tense game, and that was too much for Sir Jeffrey (who is from New York, so you THINK he'd be accustomed to rudeness). So, out is Girardi, and in is Fredi Gonzalez. Meanwhile, Loria is pushing the city to pay for a retractable-roof stadium for his team, and is threatening to move pretty much anywhere else if he doesn't get it (Las Vegas, San Antonio, Purgatory). You may want to say no to the stadium, Florida. You'd lose your baseball team, but you'd also lose Loria. It's pretty much a fair trade. Here's what you should expect from the Marlins in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: The rookies have seasoning and will be even better this year. This is an extremely young team. Seriously, the only guy older than me on the 40-man roster is Aaron Boone. God, I'm old.

Biggest potential nightmare: The young pitching breaking down more quickly than that idiot judge in the Anna Nicole Smith case. Josh Johnson may already be lost for much of the season, and Anibel Sanchez and Ricky Nolasco have suffered through injuries in spring training. Dontrelle Willis has been healthy, but he's still smarting from his DUI and public urination charges in the offseason. With all of these other injuries, however, Willis is well-prepared to be the whiz kid of the 2007 staff.

Player to watch: Actually, it's the manager. Fredi Gonzalez has big shoes to fill. Fortunately, he comes highly recommended, as he has been under the tutelage of Bobby Cox for several years. Hopefully, he picked up some of Cox's best qualities (how to win a division 14 straight times, get the most out of a pitching staff) while not picking up his faults (postseason chokes, effective ways to beat your wife).

Why do we still have to watch this player?: Really, they're all so young, there's no one on the roster who should have run out of chances long ago. However, Alex Sanchez is a non-roster invitee. Quite frankly, when you've been busted for steroids after hitting only 6 home runs in over 1500 major league at bats, it's probably time to look for another line of work.

Telling Statistic: In his first season, shortstop Hanley Ramirez hit .292 with 17 homers, 119 runs scored, and 51 stolen bases. Ramirez was acquired from the Red Sox in the Josh Beckett deal. Meanwhile, the Red Sox have had 6 starting shortstops since 2004. I think that the proper term for the Sox here is foresight (or lack thereof).

Interesting fact signifying nothing: The Marlins have never won a division title but have won two World Series titles. That sound you heard is Braves fans coming up with their best compound syllable swear word.

Projected record & finish: 73-89, 4th place, NL East.

Prediction that won’t come true but should: The Marlins overcome all odds and win the 2007 World Series. Loria immediately trades the team's young core, fires Gonzalez, and signs junior high players to start for the Marlins in 2008. Girardi is once again hired as the manager but is fired 48 hours later after he gets Loria's lunch order wrong.