#11 - Toronto Blue Jays - This May Be Their Year, Eh?

Many of you are familiar with Terrance and Phillip, South Park’s Canadian comedy duo. Their jokes are infantile and usually involve flatulence, their talent minimal, and yet they stir up so much hatred and bile in South Park’s overprotective adults that they lead to a war between the United States and Canada. Well, Canada’s only MLB team, the Toronto Blue Jays, are nothing like that. They’re a talented group of players who don’t tend to stir much hatred in their rivals (mainly because New York and Boston fans spend their waking hours attempting to torture the other fan base). Plus, until last year’s second place finish, Toronto hadn’t finished above third place in the AL East since 1993, the year that they last won the World Series.

The Jays have been given permission to open up the wallet the past few years, and they’ve obliged with lavish, semi0outrageous free-agent signings of A.J. Burnett, B.J. Ryan, and Frank Thomas. For good measure, they also signed their MVP, Vernon Wells, to a $126 million extension. That money will go far, Vernon, even when you have to come to the States. The Jays have a good team, and have the potential to win the East. At the very least, the normal two-team AL East dogfight will probably welcome a third member this year. Oh, and the Jays are funnier than Terrance and Phillip, although that’s pretty much by default. Here’s what to expect from the Blue Jays in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: They may have as much talent as the Yankees and Sox. Their offense is probably better than Boston’s and comparable with New York. Underappreciated Reed Johnson and Lyle Overbay get on base nearly 40 percent of the time, and set the table for run producers Wells, Troy Glaus, and Thomas (welcome back to relevance, Frank!). The staff has two aces in Roy Halladay and Burnett, and even though his contract is ridiculous, was there a better closer in baseball than Ryan (38 SV, 1.37 ERA, 86K, 0.85 WHIP) last year? OK, maybe Papelbon or Mariano, but that’s a debate for another time. The pieces are here.

Biggest potential nightmare: The back end of the rotation is a bit frightening. Tomo Ohka is a good investment, but Gustavo “Beer Goggles” Chacin is more than a bit shaky, no pun intended. I’d also sooner trust Marion Barry with my taxes than Josh Towers with a start every fifth day. There may also be a vacuum in the setup role now that Justin Speier has left. And what if Thomas, Glaus, or Halladay get hurt – again?

Player to watch: Burnett. Many snickered when the Jays signed the oft-injured pitcher who resembles a Motley Crue groupie to a 5 year, $55 million deal last winter (although after the Gil Meche signing, Burnett’s deal seems more reasonable). They may still be snickering. Burnett missed two months with elbow pain that he feared was related to his previous Tommy John surgery. Jays doctors couldn’t diagnose the injury and team management pretty much accused him of being an incredible wuss. There’s no doubt that when healthy, Burnett’s stuff is electric, and with Halladay he could form the best 1-2 starting tandem in the American League. However, he’s still only 59-58 for his career. It’s just as likely that Burnett could be spending July and August getting more body piercings as it is he’ll be mowing down the Sox and Yankees.

Why do we still have to watch this player: Royce Clayton. Clayton is slated to start the year as the Toronto shortstop. The Jays had to go deep into the barrel to find him. If you’re scoring at home (or if even you’re alone), the Jays are Clayton’s 10th team. Absent a decent year in hitter-friendly Colorado in 2004, Clayton hasn’t scored more than 75 runs in any season in his career, and hasn’t had a OPS over .700 since 2001. On the bright side, he’s had four kids since 2001, so at least he’s producing on some level.

Telling Statistic: Toronto was second in the majors in 2006 in OPS, trailing only the Yankees. So it looks like they’ve got that hitting thing down.

Interesting fact signifying nothing: The nickname “Blue Jays” was chosen by Labatt in reference to its beer, Labatt Blue. Labatt’s hope was that fans would refer to the team as the “Blues.” Great marketing, guys. Similarly, I can’t wait for the Red to play the Devil this year.

Projected record & finish: 87-75, 3rd place, AL East

Prediction that won’t come true but should: The Jays win their first pennant since 1993, largely due to their impenetrable defense. The Jays improve when they finally realize that they can play 11 men on the field instead of 9, thanks to the 1.2 to 1 exchange rate with American teams.

#12 - Detroit Tigers - Holding, Folding, or Just Making Cosmetic Changes?

Let's face it - if the Tigers aren't your favorite team, they became your second favorite team last year. This time last year, the team with 12 straight losing seasons (including a Pauly Shore-esque 43-119 campaign in 2003) was expected to improve, but not significantly. The team's biggest acquisition was manager Jim Leyland, who upon taking the job pretty much admitted that he knew nothing about the team or the American League. Fast forward to October, when the 95-win Tigers dispatched the Yankees and the A's in the playoffs, and the Tigers are suddenly hosting Game 1 of the World Series. The blunt, nicotine-soaked manager was once again the toast of baseball, and everybody loved them some Tiger!

Of course, the Tigers were upset in the World Series by the Cardinals (thanks in part due to their pitchers' fielding, which became as erratic as Eminem around Triumph the Insult Comic Dog). Still, the Tigers had much to be proud of in 2006, and their goals in 2007 are higher than the tear ducts on the face of Kenny Rogers (the one on the right, in case you had any doubt) after his most recent face lift. Complicating their task is the daunting task of playing in the toughest division in baseball, the AL Central. The Tigers are pretty much the same team as last year, with the addition of one surly slugger (more on that below). Asking everything to fall into place again may be too muck to ask. Here's what to expect from the Tigers in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: The core of the AL champs returns in tact, with the addition of Gary Sheffield and his probable 100 RBIs. Their solid rotation is still healthy, with Jeremy Bonderman and Justin Verlander capable of reaching All-Star status. Joel "Guitar Hero" Zumaya and Francisco Rodney will still fool batters with their wicked stuff. There's a lot to like here.

Biggest potential nightmare: The starters don't hold up, particularly Verlander, who faded mightily in his first full season (5.86 ERA in August and September). 41 year-old Kenny Rogers could lose that extra 5 MPH on his fastball and his nasty streak that he magically gained in one week in last year's playoffs (hmmm... additional arm strength and a rapid effect on emotional functioning - what could cause such a thing? Not that I'm accusing, but...). Despite Zumaya being Detroit's best bullpen options, Jim Leyland inexplicably sticks with Todd Jones as his closer. This stubbornness could have long-lasting effects down the road. If you saw the following stats for two players, who would you want to be your closer?

84 IP, 56 H, 42 BB, 97K, 1.94 ERA, 1.18 WHIP, throws 102 MPH
64 IP, 70 H, 11BB, 28K, 3.94 ERA, 1.27 WHIP, throws faster than the maximum speed of certain Segways

I'll give you a hint - the first guy is not the old homophobic mustached guy. Make the switch to #1, Mr. Leyland.

Player to watch: Sheffield. Before an injury-plagued 2006 in Gotham, Sheffield had driven in over 100 runs in six of the past seven seasons. He now brings his potent bat to Detroit, where he is reunited with Leyland, his favorite manager. Anyone who has seen Sheffield swing knows the terror that his bat brings - he has the most violent swing in baseball, and seems to hit the ball harder than anyone. He needs only 45 homers in his career to get to 500. Hard as it is to believe, he's a probable Hall of Famer. Yet, the Tigers are his seventh team, and there's a reason for that. He has left the majority of his previous employers on not-so-pleasant terms, and despite his claims that he's a leader, he is anything but. The more accurate term is melanoma. Now, for the first time in his career, Sheffield will be a full-time DH, with less time in the field and more time to "think." Detroit, be prepared to be diced by the Sheff.

Why do we still have to watch this player?: Neifi Perez. It's OK to keep a no-hit, good glove backup infielder on your team if there are no other options. However, the Tigers have four quality middle infielders in Carlos Guillen, Placido Polanco, Omar Infante, and Ramon Santiago. So why to the Tigers keep Perez? It can't be his lifetime .298 OBP in over 5,000 major league at bats. All I can say is that he must either be a really great practical joker, or he has Mark Foley-esque compromising pictures of Leyland.

Telling Statistic: In 2004, the Tigers were 13th in the American League in ERA. In 2005, they moved up to 8th. Last year, they were 1st. I think I see why they improved (I try not to miss the blatantly obvious).

Interesting fact signifying nothing: The Tigers haven't retired Ty Cobb's number, but there's a good explanation for it - he didn't have a number. Cobb retired in 1921, and numbers weren't put on uniforms until 1929. However, in honor of Cobb, no Tigers player shall have more than 2 consecutive letter "K's" on any portion of their uniform.

Projected record & finish: 86-76, 3rd place, AL Central

Prediction that won’t come true but should: Kenny Rogers sings the national anthem at Comerica Park, but before he can finish he is knocked unconscious by a 109 MPH fastball thrown from the parking lot by the "naturally excited" Kenny Rogers.

#13 - Arizona Diamondbacks - Diamonds in the Rough?

As a general rule, the sequel is never good as the original. Nonetheless, Randy Johnson is returning for a second stint in Arizona, where he excelled from 1999 to 2004 and was a central part of their 2001 World Series championship. Johnson forced a trade to the Yankees basically to get paid, but then had two, ahem, underwhelming years there. You'll notice that there haven't been many tears in the Yankees clubhouse over the Big Unit's loss, mainly because... hmm, how to say this gently... he's an incredible dick.

The Unit is known to isolate himself from his temmates, and can't conduct any conversation in a civil tone. Heck, he even tried to stiff his daughter on her child support despite making $16 million per year. Although he's now a born-again Christian, he can't even get along with Ned Flanders. However, now that he's out of the New York spotlight, there will be fewer media types to remind him of his jerk-dom, so he'll be more at peace, and that may mean better results for the Unit. However, if you're in the greater Phoenix area, I don't advide bringing a camera - cameras make Johnson angry. He doesn't get big and green like the Incredible Hulk, but I think his mullet grows a few inches every time he gets furious.

Johnson is an old man amongst a sea of baby D-Backs, and that's not a bad thing. No team has as many youngsters ready to make the jump to stardom as Arizona. In the mediocre NL West, that could mean a playoff berth in 2007. At the very least, it looks like the D-Backs have an impressive foundation that will allow them to compete for a long time. If you're looking for the Tigers of 2007, the D-Backs may be your bet (although I'm going with another sleeper - more on that next week). Here's what to expect from the D-Backs in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: The everyday lineup will have five everyday players under 25 with top-shelf potential. Shortstop Stephen Drew hit .316 and slugged .517 in his first seaon in Arizona (hopefully he's less brittle than his brother J.D.). First baseman Conor Jackson hit 15 homers and knocked in 79 runs in his first full major league season and is seen as a 30 homer, 100 RBI guy for years to come. The D-Backs were so confident in catching prospect Miguel Montero that they traded their .300 hitting starting catcher, Johnny Estrada, to the Brewers. Chris Young and Carlos Quentin will man the outfield, and could be batting 3-4 in the lineup by July. Add to the youth blend utilityman Alberto Callaspo, the most impressive player in D-Backs spring training, and you have a great young nucleus. If these guys hit, and the D-Backs veteran-laden rotation (Johnson, reigning Cy Young award winner Brandon Webb, Doug Davis, and Livan Hernandez) pitches to their abilities, they could be scary.

Biggest potential nightmare: The kids struggle early and lose confidence. Johnson looks 43 years old, and Hernandez resembles an overweight batting practice pitcher. The bullpen can't hold a lead. Johnson's favorite postgame quote is "do you know who I am?"

Player to watch: Jorge Julio. Young teams have to learn how to win. As part of that process, a good closer can go a long way towards increasing a team's confidence. Enter Julio, he of the 100 MPH fastball but the confidence of a 12 year-old at the Neverland Ranch. Last year was typical Julio - 88 strikeouts in only 66 innings, but he allowed 10 homers and blew 20% of his save opportunities. For the D-Backs to win, they need a consistent closer. They may already realize that isn't Julio, as he's rumored to be on the trading block. If Julio isn't the man, Jose Valverde or Brandon Lyon will likely inherit the closer hot seat.

Why do we still have to watch this player?: Eric Byrnes. Yes, Byrnes is a respectable player - he hit 26 home runs and stole 25 bases while playing a good defensive outfielder. But I'm using the term "watch" quite literally, in that Byrnes has the worst hair in baseball. It looks like a muskrat died on his head. And remember in the 2003 ALCS when he gave Jason Varitek a sissy-boy shove while forgetting to touch home plate? (Varitek's response - calmly get the ball, then run to the dugout and tag Byrnes - that's just one reason why I'll always love Varitek). So, he's a punk, too. Go away, Eric, or at least get a comb.

Telling Statistic: Webb has led the National League for three straight years in ground ball-to-fly ball ratio, due to his devastating sinker. For his career, he has allowed a home run every 13.1 innings. By contrast, Julio has allowed a home run every 6.9 innings.

Interesting fact signifying nothing: The D-Backs are unveiling new uniforms and caps in 2007. Gone are the purple, teal and copper hues, and in are red and black. So, the D-Backs are going away from the semi-artsy colors and replacing them with colors signifying blood and death, respectively. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that they made these changes and then immediately acquired Johnson.

Projected record & finish: 86-76, 2nd place, NL West

Prediction that won’t come true but should: The D-Backs star in a sequel to Animal House, with the young talent playing the roles of the frat boys, Byrnes in the John Belushi role, and Johnson as Dean Wormer.

#14 - San Diego Padres - Staying Classy, Boomer Excluded

I've never been to San Diego, but everyone that I know who has visited loves the place. The weather's great, the people are laid back, it's a good cultural city, and there's just a good vibe around the place. I guess the word that I associate most with the city of San Diego is "nice." It just seems to be pleasant all around (even though David "Boomer" Wells is once again a resident).

Like their home city, the Padres are a "nice" team. They're a decent collection of good players who also seem to be decent human beings (again, Wells and his physique sponsored by Rolling Rock excluded), and they have a good shot at the playoffs this year. If you're not a Padres fan, you don't hate them, and you probably kind of like them (Dodgers and Giants fans excluded). It's a passive like that says "hey, I like your style - you're good but not overly threatening to my favorite team." Like the nice guy who never gets the hot chick, the Padres are the nice group of guys who never get to the top of the mountain. Even though they frequently compete for a playoff berth, you never think of them as a World Series contender. Their two World Series appearances almost seemed like accidents, like they got in over their head. They're too laid back and pleasant for that level of glory.

The Padres will compete in the weak NL West in 2007. Will they make the playoffs for the third consecutive year? I say that they'll just be edged out, but I could be wrong. 85-88 wins could win the NL West again this year, and they're capable of that. Regardless, the Pads are guaranteed to put a small smile on the faces of their fans at Kitty Litter Stadium this year (not that they wouldn't be smiling anyway). Here's what to expect from the Padres in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: The Padres may have the best 1-11 pitching staff in the NL West, and possibly all of the National League. If Jake Peavy returns to form, he will form a nice under-30 front of the rotation with Clay Hensley and Chris Young. Filling out the back of the rotation are the immortal Greg Maddux and the immortally idiotic-yet-effective Wells. Both are in their 40s, but both still seem to have something left. The bullpen is anchored by the ageless Trevor Hoffman, with top setup men Cla Meredith (1.07 ERA in '06 - by the way - nice trade, Theo) and Scott Linebrink, who would close for about 15 other teams. Add to this that new manager Bud Black is one of the game's mos respected pitching minds, and you have the makings of dominance. In pitchers friendly Kitty Litter Park, the Padres could win a lot of 3-2 games.

Biggest potential nightmare: Wells and Maddux pitch like they're a combined 85 years old, Peavy has another over 4.00 ERA season, and the offense doesn't perform to expectations. Brian Giles is not the dominant offensive presence that he used to be - he's more of a tablesetter at this point in his career. Thus, the pressure's on guys such as Adrian Gonzalez and Josh Bard to pick up the slack. Additionally, can Marcus Giles fill the fleet shoes of Dave Roberts (now with the Giants) in the leadoff spot? If they don't, the Padres could sputter worse than Michael Richards at the Apollo.

Player to watch: Kevin Kouzmanoff. The Padres raised a lot of eyebrows in the offseason when they traded future All-Star second baseman Josh Barfield to the Indians for Kouzmanoff, who will likely be the Padres Opening Day third baseman. The Padres gave up a young five-tool player with proven success at the major league level for a career .332 hitter in the minors with ggreat upside, but who has only had a cup of coffee in the bigs. To avoid Barfield comparisons, Kouzmanoff will need to produce right away. Otherwise, Kevin, the fans in San Diego will be chanting "Boo," and not "Kooooz."

Why do we still have to watch this player?: Manny Alexander. As you may recall, Alexander was once such a prospect that the the Orioles found it necessary to move Cal Ripken from shortstop to third base to accommodate him. That was pretty much Alexander's career highlight (other than steroids being found in his car). Alexander is 36 now, and has a lifetime average of .231 with a .282 OBP. He has not stolen a base since 1999, and makes his career as a utilityman. Doesn't every team have a AAA guy who could handle the utility infield role as well as Manny Alexander? If there's a nuclear attack on San Diego, the only survivors will be cockroaches and Alexander.

Telling Statistic: The Padres have won 170 games over the past two years, which is the lowest two-year total for a team that has made the playoffs for those two consecutive seasons.

Interesting fact signifying nothing: Notable former Padres include Tony Gwynn, and Gaylord Perry, and John Kruk. In a related story, the Padres had no trouble in finding a jersey big enough for Wells.

Projected record & finish: 84-78, 3rd place, NL West

Prediction that won’t come true but should: Gwynn's Baseball Hall of Fame induction ceremony is overshadowed by Padres shortstop Khalil Greene, who on the same day is inducted into the White Guys with Black Names Hall of Fame.

Addandum - two days after I wrote this, Wells revealed that he has Type 2 diabetes. He says that he has radically altered his lifestyle, and that he's a changed man because he's not into losing appendages down the road. I wish him well in his recovery. I also hope that his newfound lifestyle changes will reflect positively on other parts of his body, most notably his brain.

#15 - New York Mets - Say, Hey, Where's the Pitching?

Pedro Martinez may have an imperial daddy, but right now the Mets would desperately take this wayward son, but for his health. Last year, Pedro's rotator cuff ouchie may have cost the Mets a trip to the World Series, and after surgery, the earliest that he will return is around the All-Star Break. Such is the danger with damaged goods, as good as they may be (if only the Mets made him take an MRI...).

It's been a rough year for Pedro with his injury and with the death of his "little friend." But at least we know that Pedro still has friends to talk with: his tulips and daffodils. Yes, Pedro is quite the gardener, and he talks to his plants on a regular basis. He used to have petunias, but he had to brush them back after they talked smack to him.

The Mets will sorely miss Pedro, as their starting staff is thinner than Nicole Richie. Their offense will once again be impressive, but the lack of pitching could prove fatal to the Shea faithful. It's probably unrealistic to expect the Mets to have the National League's best record, and absent a trade or a rookie coming up big, they'll miss the playoffs. Here's what to expect from the Mets in 2007.

Biggest reason for hope: The offense scores 900 runs, and they win a lot of 9-7 bludgeonfests. Here's your projected Mets 2007 lineup:
Jose Reyes, SS - .300, 126 RS, 19 HR, 64 SB in 2006
Paul LoDuca, C - Capable #2, struck out only 38 times in '06
Carlos Delgado, 1B - did you know he has 407 career homers?
Carlos Beltran, CF - 41 HR, 116 RBI, Gold Glove in '06
David Wright, 3B - .311, 26 HR, 116 RBI, charming smile in '06
Moises Alou, LF - older than God, but still hit .301 with 22 homers in '06
Shawn Green, RF - the greatest Jewish outfielder of our time
Jose Valentin, 2B - 18 HR, .490 slugging in '06

Oh my, that's good. So the Mets are set, right? Well, that's assuming that the pitching holds up...

Biggest potential nightmare: The staff can't prevent opponents from scoring 10 runs a game. Let's look at the rotation shall we? Absent Pedro, we start with Tom Glavine, who'll be 41 by opening day. Following that, it's El Duque, who missed the 2006 playoffs and is 37 (wink, wink). After that it's ... hmm... well, I'm not sure. John Maine? Promising-but-untested Mike Pelfrey? Oliver Perez? (Mets fans shudder). Chan Ho Park? (fans shaking increasingly) Aaron Sele? (cardiac episode!). There's a reason that Wille Randolph got carpal tunnel syndrome from repeated motions to the bullpen last year, and Randolph runs the risk of burning out his bullpen early if the patchwork rotation comes apart.

Player to watch: Reyes. As great as Wright is, Reyes may be the most exciting player in MLB today. He still needs to learn to take more pitches, but his combination of average, power, speed, and defense are a joy to watch. Have I mentioned he's only 23?

Why do we still have to watch this player?: Guillermo Mota. After seeing his career fizzle over the past few seasons, Mota enjoyed a renaissance when he was dealt to the Mets before the trading deadline and was a key member of their bullpen in the playoffs after the loss of Duaner Sanchez. How did he do it? Hard work, a dominating fastball, and an anabolic infusion. Yep, steroids. Mota is suspended for the first 50 games of the 2007 season, but his steroid-infused arm got a 2-year, $5 million contract from the Mets five weeks after the suspension was announced. So, if you're looking for a message to pass onto the children, it's that crime does pay, or that it's OK to use steroids as long as you don't hit homers.

Telling Statistic: Maine, Perez, Park and Sele combined to go 24-31 in 2006. Three of these pitchers could constitute 60% of the Mets 2007 starting rotation.

Interesting fact signifying nothing: Julio Franco is the only active MLB player who was born in the 1950's. He will be 49 in August. He is older than over half of the members of the Mets 1986 World Championship team. He's the oldest player ever to hit a home run and a to hit a grand slam. He stole six bases last season. He's so old that Willie Randolph told Franco to act his age, at which point he died. Seriously, I marvel at what he's done. Franco plans on playing until he's 50. I just hope to have some feeling in all of my extremities by then.

Projected record & finish: 84-78, 2nd place, NL East

Prediction that won’t come true but should: Short on arms, the Mets sign Mr. Met to fill out their rotation. Mr. Met immediately becomes the player with the second-biggest head in baseball, behind only Barry Bonds.

#16 - Chicago White Sox - Ozzfest - It %$#@&* Rocks!

"Seriously, you had me at 'Jay Mariotti is a f%g.'"

Yes, it's time for another season of Ozzieball, complete with all of the hustle, passion, profanity and homophobic slurs that comes with it. After a historic, lip-smacking World Series victory in 2005, the White Sox were playing with house money in 2006. Despite winning 90 games, the Sox finished out of the playoffs. Nonetheless, they were still 24 games better than the Cubs, and their future remains bright.

In the offseason, GM Ken Williams made some controversial yet intriguing moves, trading starters Freddy Garcia and Brandon McCarthy for a collection of good pitching prospects. Most of these players will help the White Sox eventually, but the question remains how much they'll help in 2007. While these moves may pay dividends for the 2009 White Sox, it probably won't for this year's bunch, especially in the uber-tough AL Central. I see a roughly .500 team here. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pull out my Spanish to English dictionary to see what Ozzie just called me. Here's what to expect from the White Sox in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: The strong lineup and "big 3" of Jose Contreras (no, how old are you REALLY?), Mark Buehrle, and Jon Garland keep them in the race. Assuming that Jermaine Dye, Paul Konerko, Joe Crede and Jim Thome stay healthy, the White Sox have a middle of the lineup as good as anyone in baseball.

Biggest potential nightmare: The new kids come in and get crushed, losing their confidence. In particular, Gavin Floyd, the probable No. 5 starter, is known to have confidence issues. I'm sure Ozzie will be very patient with Floyd, so long as Floyd can withstand being called approximately 27 euphemisms for the word "gay." Or Floyd can simply get Guillen's respect by drilling every batter in sight. That usually works.

Player to watch: Charlie Haeger. Who, you ask? Haeger is a 23 year-old knuckleballer who has an excellent chance of making the Chicago staff. I'm a sucker for knuckleballers - they eat innings, they pitch until they're 45, and it seems that anyone can throw the pitch regardless of athletic build. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wander outside and throw a few balls.

Why do we still have to watch this player?: Javier Vazquez. Vazquez just signed a 3 year, $34.5 million extension to stay in Chicago. This move seemed odd, particularly given the fact that Buerhle and Garland are free agents after the season. A bigger issue is why the Sox would invest so much in a mediocre commodity and a #4 starter at best. In his last three seasons, Vazquez is 36-37 with a 4.72 ERA. He also not a kid anymore - he'll be 31 this season. He's durable, but so is my lawnmower, and it doesn't mow the grass all that well. OK, maybe Vazquez is watchable, but he's certainly not elite anymore.

Telling Statistic: As great as the starters were for the Sox in 2005, their unheralded bullpen was a key strength. In 2006, that strength became a weakness, as their bullpen ERA rose from 3.23 to 4.53. There's a reason that Bobby "Super Size Me" Jenks is the only holdover from the 2005 pen.

Interesting fact signifying nothing: In 1976, the White Sox wore shorts for one game, at which point the look was quickly retired (sliding can be painful that way). This ranks as the 4th most embarrassing incident in White Sox history, trailing only Disco Demolition Night, the Black Sox scandal, and allowing A.J. Pierzynski to represent the team at functions.

Projected record & finish: 82-80, 4th Place, AL Central

Prediction that won’t come true but should: Ozzie Guillen and John Amaechi are spotted together at a Madonna concert at the United Center in July.

#17 - Atlanta Braves - A Brave New World - Chopped Down from First Place

The Braves are the chosen team of many powerful people - Ted Turner, Jane Fonda, Elton John, Jeff Foxworthy (you might be a redneck if you wear a Braves hat to a wedding), and of course Jimmy Carter. Seriously, you know that your team is powerful when the 39th Presidentis in your corner. I look forward to his new baseball book - Atlanta: Pennants, Not Apartheid. Apartheid is Jimmy's favorite term to describe (1) the Israeli occupation of Palestine, and (2) the Mets.

The Braves are still in shock that they weren't invited to the playoffs last year, as they thought it was an annual rite of fall. The Braves failed to win the NL East for the first time since 1990, and the Braves are looking to start a new playoff streak in 2007. Will they? Possibly, but a lot of things have to fall into place. The Braves are likely looking at being home in October, which is OK because President Carter will need a few strapping young lads for his latest Habitat for Humanity project. Here's what to expect from the Braves in 2007:

Biggest reason for hope: The Braves pitching can compete with anyone in the National League. The rotation has 3 solid starters in John Smoltz, Chuck James, and Tim Hudson (assuming he can get his mojo back). In the offseason, the Braves acquired Rafael Soriano and Mike Gonzalez to set up Bob Wickman. Both Soriano and Gonzalez could close for many other teams and could provide a dominating late-inning presence. Of course, the pitching coach is Roger McDowell and not Leo Mazzone, so there's a chance that the pitchers will be spending more time avoiding whoopee cushions than working on their mechanics.

Biggest potential nightmare: The Braves lineup has some holes after the Jones boys and Brian McCann. Marcus Giles and Adam LaRoche found new homes in the offseason, and in their place will be Scott Thorman and Martin Prado. Raise your hand if you know either of them. Of course, the Braves produce prospects as quickly as Tom Brady reproduces, so these guys may pay off. Still, the offense looks a bit thin, and it will be interesting to see if Bobby Cox will need to make lemonade from lemons.

Player to watch: Jeff Francoeur. While he drove in 103 runs last year, Francouer continued his impatient ways. He walked only 23 times while striking out 132 times, and his OBP was a paltry .293. At 23, he still has the potential to be a top-tier hitter. However, until he learns to take a pitch, he'll keep seeing sliders in the dirt and fastballs at eye level. Apparently, whenever the Braves coaches try to talk to Francouer about it, he just swings a bat wildly at them. Mind you, he's not trying to hurt them - he's just used to swinging at anything.

Why do we still have to watch this player?: There actually aren't any horribly offensive players on the roster. However, if I had to pick someone, it'd be Joey Devine, because (1) he has a lifetime ERA of 11.12 (albeit in only 11 innings), and (2) he scares me because he sounds like someone who may have an Uncle Paulie Walnuts.

Telling Statistic: Andruw Jones has 92 home runs and 257 RBIs over the past two seasons. He has 342 career homers, and he doesn't turn 30 until next month. Is he a Hall of Famer? Yes, both in Cooperstown and at the Gold Club.

Interesting fact signifying nothing: The Braves are the only team to win the World Series in three different home cities, Boston, Milwaukee, and Atlanta. They are also the only team to once employ a deer to patrol center field.

Projected record & finish: 82-80, 3rd Place, NL East

Prediction that won’t come true but should: Realizing that the name is offensive to Native Americans, Atlanta drops the Braves name. Looking for something less offensive, the team accepts corporate sponsorship and changes its name to the Atlanta Hooters. Chipper Jones approves.